The sense of urgency is killing us
The culture of urgency is killing our creativity and humanity. It’s everywhere around us, embedded in our lifestyle. It’s in the way we shop, the way we eat, the way we date, the way we work, walk, dress, participate in hobbies— everything is done with this sense of urgency. The idea of patience and waiting diminishes further and further as more algorithms are created, more chat bots are introduced, and conveniency is prioritized. Don’t get me wrong, I am very much part of this system... we all are. It’s become a part of us, which is why I think it’s now a type of culture. Everything is starting to work in a very fast-paced way; obviously it works because it only increases in popularity. However, I wonder how much of this urgency is actually affecting the way we show up for ourselves and others? I wonder if it’s changing the core of humanity— curiosity and creativity. Could it be that one of the ways in which we can return to tranquility is slowing down? Perhaps slowing down can help us ease into our own skins, or balance the uneasiness that many of us feel on a day to day basis.
“The anxious generation” as some book put it, probably addresses the way that many upcoming generations live in a perpetual state of dread and anxiety. But is it a generational thing or is it that the generation has adapted to a new culture and society that has been plagued by urgency? Anxiety at its core is urgent, jittery, restless; it makes us want to crawl out of our bodies or scratch the incessant itch until we bleed. Do we really think that this urgent anxiety hasn’t trickled down and made its way to our way of living? It’s the constant swiping in dating apps, the constant scrolling on social media, the impulsive buys on Amazon, the overspending of take out food, the staying up to date with trends (consumerism and fast fashion), the skipping breakfast and rushing to work. It is all a big ball of urgency, and because we get immediate results, and the instant gratification of it all, it starts becoming an expectation— a need. You start feeling restless when you start a hobby and don’t excel at it immediately, leaving it half-assed and jumping to the next one. You cannot feel bored for more than a few minutes because you get uncomfortable, so you pick up your phone and open the app you just closed. You expect your relationships and friendships to participate, deeming people toxic or narcissistic if they don’t fit in this box of expectations and immediacy. Yes, we all have phones, but if someone doesn’t answer your text within 5 minutes, suddenly they are noncommittal, so you move on and jump to the next.
If you really think about it, the sense of urgency has infiltrated everything; it has made the journey of living frustrating. We are either living in misery or always jumping from one thing to the next. We have forgotten how to pause, slow down, and wait. It’s becoming such a foreign concept that when it is present, we almost feel worst. And listen, if it works for you— if it truly works for you, then continue participating in the system. That is okay. But if there’s something about it that doesn’t sit right with you about this culture of urgency, maybe it’s time to slowly rebel. Resist it.
Before you hit the “checkout” sit with it for a little, and don’t buy it immediately.
If you truly need something, go to a store, and walk around. Take your time.
Allow yourself to fail when trying out new things. If you’re not great at it at the beginning, sit with the frustration. It’s okay.
If relationships are hard, sit with the discomfort; explore what’s happening and try communicating. See what happens if you slow down the process of dating as well (obviously I’m not encouraging you to stay in unhealthy and dangerous situations), what would it mean if I didn’t rush this? What comes up for me in this moment of waiting?
Don’t skip breakfast, try to have your coffee and actually taste it.
Focus on the sensations of sex, instead of getting it over with or just focusing on climaxing.
In everything you do, try pausing and asking yourself “how can I stay with this for just a moment?”; “is there actual urgency here or is it mainly the sense of urgency?”— because there is a difference between something that is actually urgent and needs the attention NOW, and something that doesn’t really need the urgency, but it FEELS like it does. Learn to identify the difference for yourself. See what happens when you stay with your curiosity, creativity, and humanity; maybe if enough of us do it, we might start a new culture, a new way of living... one that is less anxiety inducing and more balanced and sustainable.